Customer Service is Hard: The Six Best Ways to Lose Customers

Andy Gundel
Andy Gundel
25 March 2015 Business Insights

Are you a small business owner that just hates when people try to give you their money? Well have we got the solution for you.

What follows is the six best ways to lose customers:

  1. Don’t answer your phone — this one is key. You must resist the urge, turn your phone off; don’t return calls, whatever it takes not to contact those customers.
  2. The best representation of that is according to KISSmetricts 71% of consumers have ended their relationship with a company due to poor customer service. Great! We’re almost there!

  3. Look, maybe it’s not that you don’t like your customer; maybe you just have the wrong kind of customer? Who wants a needy customer who calls you every time one little thing goes wrong anyways?
  4. According to KISSmetrics, companies that focus on acquisition more than customer retention, even though it can cost seven more to acquire new customers. It may be worse for your bottom line, but it keeps you busy.

  5. Your customer base can quickly become dissatisfied when your product doesn’t function properly.
  6. In fact, 14% of all customers leave because of dissatisfaction. This means a weekly bug, or a glitch could really help you get rid of more customers than you think. Especially if you’re feeling suffocated by those pesky patrons.

  7. I bet you’re about to ask me “Hey guy, we get it, but what if my customers have no other option than me? How can I possibly rid myself of them?”
  8. Oh don’t worry your customers have options. Someone else would love to help them. In fact 61% of customers who leave will go to your competitor. I Know, this means 39% will spend the rest of their lives wondering what could have been. Try not to feel too bad.

  9. Ignore social media COMPLETELY. There’s nothing those people like more than getting a response out of you quickly. Yuck.
  10. Engaging with you customers over social media can form loyalty, brand awareness, and replace a large part of your paid marketing budget. This sounds like a road we don’t even want to touch. Let’s leave the “insta-face-chat” to the kiddos and go back to that game of minesweeper.

  11. I can’t stress how important this last step is for getting customer to move on. Are we all paying attention? Step six:

    Make it IMPOSSIBLE to contact you. Whether phone, web, social or SMS make sure that your customers find those dead ends quickly.

  12. Companies like, which looks to put combine those customer contact-channels in one place really make this difficult.

Oh? You’d like to KEEP your customers and make them happy? Just go ahead and do the exact opposite of everything I just said. Phew, that was a close one.

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